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Name: la chica
Gender: Female


Interests: Life and surviving such.


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AIM: AltoyElegante


Member Since: 2/13/2004

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Thursday, September 06, 2007

boys, drugs, cars, and snot.

This past weekend was delightful, mostly, as I spent time with the majority of my family, visited the Air Force Academy, developed a most attractive sunburned nose, and felt old for the first time in my life. The brothers are growing up remarkably fast, and have turned into dashingly handsome men. Sam was missed.

~~~~~

Unfortunately, I left the weekend with a gift from my Mother and youngest brother - a horrific headcold. I managed to hold it off 'til Wednesday, when I felt the sore throat creeping up on me. Today I managed to dope myself up enough to put in a full workday, but felt like my sinuses might explode all over the office. Lovely. When I finally stumbled home to sleep and lay about the apartment trying to forget I was alive, I realized I only had about three-fourths of a dose of Nyquil. Now Nyquil... is my friend. It has helped me through several colds, and I'll admit, when I've had those nights when I just cannot, will not, go to sleep, I've drugged myself into oblivion. We can discuss intervention later.

At first, I decided I was much too miserable to brave the sidewalks and acquire more of the delicious drug... but then I began thinking about the prospect of lying in bed, sleepless, unable to breathe, until I just suffocated myself with my own pillow. So I headed out.

In the process of walking to the store, I witnessed a car collision... my SECOND witness of such today. Yes, second. The first was on my way to work... as I was about to cross the street someone slammed, loudly, into the back of the SUV in front of them. Not a great way to start the day. I admit to completely thinking, "I am So. Glad. that wasn't me... either of those vehicles." This second one I believe was a bit more serious, as there was an ambulance, firetruck, and multiple police vehicles when I returned later. I begin to think perhaps I should stick to walking... surely two automobile accidents in one day cannot be a good omen.

But the drugs... yes, after lugging the two gallons of Nyquil home with me, I should be able to sleep through the night without dying. Maybe. And now I must go... off to sneeze more ick into a kleenex.


Friday, June 15, 2007

do the shuffle, baby.

Is it terribly sad that I had a rush of complete happiness when my iPod shuffled Aerosmith's Dream On and Bon Jovi's Livin' on a Prayer back to back as I stepped along to the metro this morning?

 


Monday, June 11, 2007

poetry and the pace of life.

Within the last week or so, a particular friend of mine introduced me to a poet of whom I'd not previously heard. Granted, my knowledge of the poets is considerably deficient, and when conversing with a poetry aficionado, I fear my contributions limit themselves to the knowledgeable nod and occasional neutral comment on their statements. Unfortunately, one direct question regarding an author of which I have not heard, and my bluffing is immediately cast into a depth where it falters and drowns in a sea of apologetic admissions of unenlightenment. Therefore, my ignorance of Billy Collins (U.S. Poet Laureate from 2001-2003) was not particularly surprising.

After reading the selections emailed to me, I was intrigued and investigated the nearby bookstore. In an out-of-character act, I purchased one of the compilations of Billy Collins' work and meandered back to the office, feeling dreamy and intellectual. Ahem. Over the next several days, I spent some time over my lunch hours perusing the book.

When my friend first inquired to my like/dislike of poetry, I expressed enjoyment but also my inability to read and enjoy more than one individual poem at a time. As I looked through the newly purchased volume, I began to wonder why. So shocking, that I would find yet another way to be introspective.... Regardless, I began to realize that I typically read the way I acted in life: quickly. Hm. As I considered, I realized it was true. I tend to do all things fast; perhaps because I am motivated by accomplishment, perhaps because I'm more high-strung than I'd thought, perhaps partly engineered and encouraged by my current geographical location. Who knows. I've read as fast as possible from childhood; it was how I began reading and has persisted into my adult years. (HA! I feel like I can say that now. "Adult years." *dances jig*)

When I read, I read fast, and gather the information needed for comprehension as quickly as possible so I am able to continue onward. Poetry forces me to slow down. I must stop. I must allow the words to rise up around me, to cover me as opposed to racing along above them, perhaps stopping here and there for an occasional dip into a brilliant sentence or descriptive paragraph, but mostly moving rapidly along my way to comprehend the necessary as immediately as I am able. The reading of poetry cannot be done thus. So now I sit, read, reread, look up and pause as I think and observe humankind milling about my stationary position, and then return to reread again before moving to the next line. It's rather beautiful, and life ceases its rush for a moment, perhaps two, while I absorb the joy of aliveness.

As for Billy Collins himself, I think part of my appreciation comes from the fact that he seems to find joy and fascination in the little things. Details, things assumed or taken for granted, and merely in elements of life that are rarely thought to carry anything of interest. For example, his Tuesday, June 4, 1991, or To a Stranger Born in Some Distant Country Hundreds of Years from Now:

Nobody here likes a wet dog.
No one wants anything to do with a dog
that is wet from being out in the rain
or retrieving a stick from a lake.
Look how she wanders around the crowded pub tonight
going from one person to another
hoping for a pat on the head, a rub behind the ears,
something that could be given with one hand
without even wrinkling the conversation.


But everyone pushes her away,
some with a knee, others with the sole of a boot.
Even the children, who don’t realize she is wet
until they go to pet her,
push her away,
then wipe their hands on their clothes.
And whenever she heads toward me,
I show her my palm, and she turns aside.


O stranger of the future!
O inconceivable being!
whatever the shape of your house,
however you scoot from place to place,
no matter how strange and colorless the clothes you
may wear,
I bet nobody there likes a wet dog either.
I bet everybody in your pub,
even the children, pushes her away.
 

His way of personifying certain things also appeals to me, probably because I have a great tendency to write likewise.

Excerpt from Piano Lessons:

5.

I am learning to play

“It Might As Well Be Spring”

but my left hand would rather be jingling

the change in the darkness of my pocket

or taking a rest on an armrest.

I have to drag him into the music

like a difficult and neglected child.

This is the revenge of the one who never gets

to hold the pen or wave good-bye,

and now, who never gets to play the melody.

Poetry is not the only current element in my life assisting to slow me down and build more recognition and enjoyment of life's fascinating bits, and surely I will always feel the push towards speed and accomplishment, but I can no longer claim to only appreciate the work of poets in single doses. Here's to occasionally allowing oneself to fall face first into a work of written art and wander without deadlines.


Saturday, April 14, 2007

right now i'd like to give the world a hug.

I think I might've gotten back to being "myself." Life will always have its less-than-perfect moments, but overall, I'm happy.

My morning was pretty much a half day of what I used to call "loner days." It was beautiful and really unbelievably fantastic. Happiness is strolling along in almost 60 degree weather, feeling good, having smooth coffee that ain't S'bucks, music singing to your ears, performing subtle little acts of kindness, people watching, and receiving a deliciously unrestrained smile from a complete stranger.

life is good.




Friday, February 16, 2007

little (and big) things that = happiness

- So call me a girl, but I just received a stunning pair of shoes, intended to be worn in my lovely twin~*'s wedding next month, and I am thrilled with their perfection. Their beautiful wine-coloured (spelling in honour of marks. ) satin smoothly flows along the scalloped sides down to each delicately jeweled toe, ending with with a gold and burgundy flourish. Also, me looks verra gooood in 'em. *crooked grin*

- I went out with a friend this past Saturday night, and during the course of the evening, she described my dancing style as being quite "Gumby-like." I suppose that's not completely complimentary, but it completely cracked me up... and is far more accurate than I shall admit.

- I was sick over the 14th, and virtually without effort, managed to abstain from coffee for a full two days. Therefore, when I had my first cup today, it hit me as if I were a virgin coffee consumer, and I received the full drug-induced happiness effect [!!!].

- Today is also the beginning of a three-day weekend for me, during which I will be able to spend time with a friend who is coming into town for several days. I haven't seen her in almost a year, and I'm rather excited, if I do say so, that I'm able to meet her plane tonight.

-  Also, another friend of mine found out recently that he got into U of Chicago's PhD program. Definitely thrilling enough on its own, but today he was informed that he got a fellowship, meaning he has full tuition paid and gads of money in which to roll about while he performs his scholarly duties! I mentally marched around my office singing loudly and throwing streamers and pennies in the air for him. So awesome!

- And finally, my Mum called me today (and then Doon himself) to inform me that my brother got his appointment to the US Air Force Academy. *squeal* *more squeals!*  I am so ecstatic I could dance in the streets with my Gumby-like grace! Such a totally, WONDERFULLY excellent day. I beg you to pardon me if I can't seem to stop wiggling with happiness.



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